


It's the Time of the Season

by kinfic2



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 03:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2797232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinfic2/pseuds/kinfic2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 513</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's the Time of the Season

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my LJ in 2011  
> *g* There are lyrics from 37 songs in this fic.

     In Justin's opinion, autumn in New York was the most wonderful time of the year. Even on cloudy days, when all the leaves were brown and the sky was gray—not as blue as it was when Brian was near—he still loved to walk the city streets, particularly the street where he lived. There was always something there to remind him of the Pitts, of _Brian_.  
  
      It was the kind of September that made him remember times of his life he thought would never end, flooding him with memories pressed between the pages of his mind. Those were the days he’d forget to do the little ordinary things, living in a kind of daydream at the very thought of Brian, the mere idea of him. Since he went away, the sound of his loneliness, like a heartbeat, drove him mad, often triggering a heartfelt _I wish you were here._ He liked to think that maybe somewhere out there Brian was also wishing the same thing.  
  
      It had been a cruel, cruel summer. No matter where he went, no matter what he did, Brian’s face appeared, like an unexpected song. He often walked alone at night with a vision softly planted in his brain—pretending Brian was beside him, his image floating in the air, with his arms around him. Although he knew it was only in his mind, that he was talking to himself and not to him, he’d walk till morning, even in the rain.  
  
      Pausing every now and then beneath the halo of a street lamp to turn his collar up against cold, he could swear the raindrops falling on his head were whispering his name— _Brian_. But it was just an illusion, a crazy game that ended in tears. As he wandered in and out of doorways, in a city full of shadows, he knew he would always be a part of him. He would never be free, no matter how hard Brian pushed him to follow that dream.  
  
      After another night of smoking cigarettes and playing solitaire to silence the voices in his head, he stumbled to bed. Tossing and turning, he didn’t know if he could take it, if he could make it. He didn’t think he was that kind of man. Once again, he had the craziest dream. He dreamed he heard Brian’s voice, locked inside his secrets, calling his name, telling him he didn’t know how to get out, that he was the key.  
  
      Startled by something knocking at his brain, he sprung up in bed and held a pillow to his head before he went insane. Desperate to make some sense of it, he told himself to listen to his heart. Brian was calling for him but couldn’t find the words. His unreconciled feelings, some of them learned as a child, would never let him.  
  
      Beginning to see the light, Justin knew it was up to him. Determined not to let the new day’s sun catch him crying, he brushed the tears from his eyes, realizing the ache in his heart was not only for himself, but for Brian as well. He gave a rueful shake of his head. Love brought such misery and pain. But there was nothing he could do. Since he fell for Brian, he’d never get him out of his heart.  
  
      He was tired of listening to the sound of his tears. He needed Brian now more than ever. Nothing was impossible, he found. He picked himself up and dusted himself off like a soul inspired. Packing bags like a bat out of hell, [it’s only] time wasn’t the answer he wanted when he left, but time was what they were gonna get if he had any say in the matter!  
  
      Finally, all of his bags were packed. He was ready to go. The taxi was waiting, blowing his horn. Outside the door, he turned around with bright eyes to see solitude standing in the slant of the doorway. With a grin and a middle finger raised in mock salute, he walked away.  
  
                                                      _The End_

**Author's Note:**

> Wish You Were Here (Eddie Fisher)  
> Cruel Summer (Bananarama)  
> Sounds of Silence (Simon & Garfunkel)  
> On My Own (Les Miserables)  
> Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head (BJ Thomas)  
> Yesterday I Heard the Rain (Tony Bennett)  
> Autumn in New York (Various)  
> It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Andy Williams)  
> California Dreaming (Mamas & Papas)  
> Always Something There to Remind Me (Dionne Warwick)  
> The Street Where You Live (My Fair Lady)  
> The Very Thought of You (Billie Holliday)  
> Traces/Memories Medley (The Lettermen)  
> The Times of Your Life (Paul Anka)  
> Dreams (Fleetwood Mac)  
> Follow That Dream (Elvis Presley)  
> Those Were the Days (Mary Hopkin  
> Learn to be Still The Eagles)  
> Try To Remember (The Fantastiks)  
> Somewhere Out There ( L. Ronstadt & J.Ingram)  
> Flowers on the Wall (Statler Bros.)  
> Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying (Gerry & the Pacemakers)  
> Tossing and Turning (Bobby Lewis)  
> I Call Your Name (Beatles)  
> Autumn Leaves (Various Artists)  
> Unexpected Song (Song & Dance)  
> I Dreamed Last Night (Moody Blues)  
> I Think I Love You (Partridge Family)  
> Open Secrets (Rush)  
> Brush Those Tears (Nat King Cole)  
> I Had the Craziest Dream (Frank Sinatra)  
> Since I Fell for You (Lenny Welch)  
> Beginning to See the Light (Ella Fitzgerald)  
> Pick Yourself Up (Fred Astaire)  
> Love, Come Save Me (Right Away, Great Captain!)  
> Leaving on a Jet Plane (Peter Paul & Mary)  
> Solitude (Suzanne Vega)


End file.
